So, his captivity on the weekend reminded me of this great story that I wanted to share with you. I hope you like it.
CAT DIARY  
Day 983 of my captivity. 
My  captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the  other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make  my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I  nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only  thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.  
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its  headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their  hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am  capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what  a "good little hunter" I am. 
Bastards! 
There was some sort  of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement  for the duration of the event. However, I could  hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to  the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my  advantage. 
Today I was almost successful in  an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he  was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --  but at the top of the stairs. 
I am convinced  that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives  special privileges. He is regularly released -  and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.  
The bird has got to be an informant. I  observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports  my every move. My captors have arranged  protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. 
For now...


1 comments:
FUNNY!
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